this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
