shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
