I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize