i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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