porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just want to make out with him forever
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
