My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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