Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
