I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
