You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
