Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
