If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
