girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
