First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
