I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
