honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
