The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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