Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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