just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
