good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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