One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
