haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
