Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
