Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
my poor anus
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Damn victory sex feels great
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
