So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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