Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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