So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
dude. I can hear the air.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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