I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
