: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
