It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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