Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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