I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
