we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
