if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
