i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I didn't notice because vodka
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
