Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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