no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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