dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
