it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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