Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
