Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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