he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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