yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
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