Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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