With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
