So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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