I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
