So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
