its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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