Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
