It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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