that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
