The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
This beer is not sobering me up at all
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
