:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
