Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
