just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I touched a dick in church today
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
