spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
