whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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