Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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