He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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