What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
