you mean i was at the winter classic?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
