I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
