The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
