Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
