She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
